I have been in an on again, off again love affair with drugs
and alcohol for 27 years. On January 28, 2011 we broke-up again, hopefully for
good this time. I have spent the last year learning how to live life like a
sober member of society.
I am still learning.
I am learning how to breathe, talk, sleep, eat, date, screw,
fail, succeed, emote, work, play and dance like a sober woman, for the very
first time in my life. Most days, if I am really honest, I have no idea what I am
doing.
I use a program and a spiritual connection to help me do all
of these things, but sometimes it is just not enough. That is where the internet comes in. Why not
release this nonsense into the world? I mean after all, it’s only the workings
of my sick brain.
I call myself “Bee Girl” because of the Blind Melon video
for “No Rain”. I know EXACTLY how that little girl in the video felt.
As a matter of fact, I believe she lives inside of me somewhere and is with me
every day. The only way I was able to make her feel better before was to get
her loaded on vodka and coke. Today she finds joy with other "Bee People" (sober ones) and
dances like there is no tomorrow….. totally sober.
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